I don't want anything to be uncomfortable, I want everything to be nice. My life is supposed to get simple, yet interesting. So I'm just floundering.
When I flounder, I create things. Like how I don't know anything about people, I'm just appealed to their shell so I fill the shell with things I'd like them to be. That's why I'm appealed to people, its because I think that they've got everything hiding in them. They have the potential. Then it goes back to inexperience or naivety. No body knows.
You know like, people have shells that you need to fill. And you find out little things about them through stages of friendship. The either of you starts conversation with each other, you stop and talk in public, you stalk each other on the internet, you experience each others houses, you notice certain interesting qualities they have, you take your first photo together, you talk to them for hours on the phone, you spend too much time together and then you realise some annoying things about them, they tell you a dark secret from their past, you spoon when having a sleep over, and then you're in this ever state of bliss. Until you spend more than three days straight with them and you want to kill them.
Anyway, I make up situations I'll have with people and they always turn to shit. So, no more.
I'll tone everything down and openly confess to people that either they're the prettiest thing I've ever seen, they're the most entertaining, they're the most level headed, they're the kind of person I'd like to marry.
Incoherent ramblings.
Today I bought a new dress and a new shirt. I'm also making my hair try to be all one colour.
I feel like I'm waiting. I'm definitely waiting. I cannot wait.